Secrets & Lies

BFF & I were having a conversation the other day about secrets and lies, and how he is so very good at them, and how I am so very bad. I hate keeping secrets, cuz eventually they creep out without you meaning them too, and they cause the worst consequences imaginable. Lies, on the other hand are even more work because not only do you have to remember that you told them, you have to remember who you told them to, and what they consisted of. And you have to have that poker face. Everyone has secrets that they keep, for various reasons. I have one I never told Mr. in 5 years, that I will never tell him in this lifetime. I'll take that one to my grave. He has lots of secrets...or he prefers to call them omissions. Lies by omission? I supposed whatever you call it, he keeps things from me, and from other people in his life. I supposed the vanilla facade I have to keep up around my family is a lie of omission. And sometimes those are necessary evils to carry on in the world.
I do know that I can't lie straight faced to save my life. Mr always knew when something was off, and badgered the fuck out of me until I confessed. Conversely, I always knew when he was lying, but only got him to cop to it when he was drunk. Bourbon is his truth serum, and one can find out anything if you wait till he's on the verge of passing out after he's had some. LOL! I'll get nailed for divulging that secret.
Currently, I hold secrets that I've been asked not to blog about. I honor those requests because they were made by friends who don't want flack about their "stuff". I get that. It's tough sometimes though to not shout it out and be able to take joy from those moments. They did bring joy to all of us, and I wish the world, or people, weren't so narrow minded to inflict consequences on people for implied wrongdoings. I also hold a few of Mr's secrets. Not many mind you, because I've done a pretty thorough job of hanging his ass on the clothesline a few times. But he's been a trooper thru it all, and for the few things he's begged not to make public, I feel like I can honor that. Plus, it may be blackmail later on! MWAHAHAHA! (J/K BFF!!)
Malcolm and I aren't at the stage of our friendship where we are divulging secrets. We're still trying to find out about each others past, hopes, all that STUFF. It's nice actually...comfortable. Easy conversation without any weight behind it. He has talked about his past, which has some serious baggage in it...as do we all, true? But the secret phase...well, we've had to be CAUTIOUS of our liaison because of a woman in our lives that fancies herself in love with him. It has caused some hurt feelings already, and has had to be addressed at least twice so far. I wouldn't equate cautious with secret...we've made no secrets about our mutual attraction and affection. But we aren't trying to be in her face either.
My goal in life is to live as honestly and as straightforward as possible. Obviously it's a work in progress, and the more I surround myself with honest, straightforward people, the easier it will be to accomplish. I think what I disrespect and despise most of all is people that will lie to your face, even when you know the truth, and they know you know. But they continue to hold on to the lie instead of copping up and making amends, taking responsibility for their behavior. I've taught my daughter that dealing with a moment of anger is way better than dealing with a lifetime of being known as a liar, where nobody will trust you. She understands completely, especially when I use real life scenarios. Liars just suck, point blank.