Repeat Performance

So, noticeably, my blogs haven't mentioned Malcolm much of late. Communication between two people who are phone-less gets a little strange. There was also the nefarious email incident where the aforementioned woman who fancies herself in love with him sent him a "Dearest Malcolm" letter, but inadvertently emailed it to the entirety of my new yahoo group. It reeked of Mr. and Psycho bitch all over again, and I was ready to throw my hands up and say FUCK THIS! Of course this was also the same damn day Mr made his infamous Car comment, and the whole fucking day reeked of men being assholes, if you asked me. On that day I'd resolved to toss all the assholes to the wind...Malcolm, Mr, my brother....you name it. I'm sure if another man had pissed me off that day his name would have been on the list as well. Well, Mr of course wouldn't let that happen, and virtually pestered me to death until I would talk to him again. "When MY Dots gets back in your head, make sure to have her call me." Taunting until I yelled, and railed at him, and then told him what was REALLY bothering me. So he'd throw out "are ya just gonna roll over and play dead, or are ya gonna even try to fight for it?". And that pissed me off because it felt like he was asking that as a double entendre, like maybe I didn't fight for him enough, even though I KNOW I did. But even thinking about that, thinking about how much I really liked Malcolm, and how fun it was to be with him....I really was ready to just roll over and let nature take it's course. Until Malcolm called. He knew....knew I was on the line, and he knew just how to yank my chain to make me want to fight.
I can't change the feelings of women, or what they THINK they feel. In THIS scenario, the woman in question wasn't really wanting Malcolm so much until she saw us together, and now she is feeling like her friend and playtoy is slipping away from her. Malcolm has made it very clear that the decision is his to make, and it's not up to me to try and make it for him, or her either. I get that. But for me to be in this predicament...AGAIN.....uhh, no thanks. So I let him know that it was too close to the relationship I've tried to leave behind me to have to play the same role over again. I DON'T want to be fighting with another psycho. One in a lifetime is enough! I need him to be unencumbered, and free. AND, I don't want my Primary relationship to consist of worrying and hiding my activities so that no one finds out we're together, or playing, or whatever, because that reeks of Mr. as well, and I don't want that life anymore. I want to simply be happy with my man, and be able to share that happiness with the world. Today, Malcolm gave me that.
People have always stared at Malcolm & I when we're together. Maybe they envy me his very considerate attention...his hand on my waist, holding my hand, kissing my neck as he comes up to hug from behind. Maybe they wonder how we ended up together. People often begrudge a gorgeous man like him being with a big girl. He'd once texted me, at the very beginning "Everywhere we go women will hate you, and men will want you." I'd thought he was being a bit vain, but damned if it wasn't a frigging prophecy. I'm willing to fight the bitches that try to get to him because they covet. I anticipate a big hooha coming up in the fall, and I'm good with that. But I just couldn't fuck with someone who was there before me and trample her because she's a good person at heart. And she deserves respect, consideration, and friendship. Now that he's handled the situation (and thank you Malcolm for actually HANDLING it and not just letting it go), everyone is good. Mr should take some lessons on this one, his life would have been so much easier, LOL. I suppose the difference is that Malcolm has always been honest, almost to a fault. He may be blunt, but I understand that, and tho it may cause hurt feelings initially, in the end he isn't being accused of being a LIAR. I probably shouldn't compare the situations, but they are my mens, and the comparisons are inevitable. Well, and it isn't anything Mr & I haven't chomped on during our Dot in the Pocket sessions.
Malcolm wants us to go forward with our plans. I actually posted more of our photos today, and am becoming more active in the community to that end again. I'm looking forward to it, and hope to God my faith isn't misplaced. If it all goes to hell, I'll just blame it on Mr. He's used to that anyways. LOLOL
Speaking of Mr, his psycho troll was at it again, crashing his accounts, forwarding emails I'd sent him to herself, then back to me with obscene titles like "go fuck yourself and leave us alone". LOLOL And then lying to Mr about it to his face. He was so livid, but then she had a family tragedy and now he feels he can't address her behavior. Here's some basic computer/internet/emailing facts...emails leave trails, and the trails embed themselves within the message. Sent Folders have memories, and Yahoo Groups have Account Administrator logs. As I'm the Group Manager, all group membership activity is time stamped and recorded for my records. All requests to leave my group are emailed to my attention. Text trails, time trails, account administrator trails... silly thing. Oh, and copying and pasting a blog entry into an email leaves a trail too. FYI. If she knew what he thought about her in those moments of realization of her antics, I should think she'd be horrified enough to stop and act like a normal human being. It certainly isn't how you become TRUSTED AND LOVED!
Christ I hate liars.