Ghost

There is a song that has been in my life for some time now. It came to me on a tape made by a great friend of mine. He made the most fantastic mixed tapes ever, but this particular one was incredibly bittersweet because it held a message for me of how he felt, and how he knew I didn't. The tape was titled "Triad", and was in reference to Me, Him, and Baby Daddy....who I had not quite gotten over, at the time. It is a beautiful haunting song, rather filled with venom, and it really wasn't until many many years later when the song itself, and not just the beautiful melody, started speaking to me on a soul level. Then I heard the real bitterness and rather vitriolic lyrics that the Indigo Girls had penned, and I felt them on a cellular level. I felt ashamed, when I realized the pain I was feeling...at the time, was the same kind of pain I had caused someone else. It was a lesson learned in shame, humility, forgiveness, and true friendship. To that person, who to this day still holds out his hand in friendship to me, and lets me know the door is always open should I change my mind....I'm sorry. Truly sorry I couldn't be the woman you wanted and needed. You've had the patience of a saint, and I'm thankful for you. I still can't be that woman for you, but you should know that I will always love and cherish you for the man that you are. Thank you for the lesson learned, and for the gift of the song.
Mr - I pass the song on to you.

There's a letter on the desktop that I dug out of a drawer
The last truce we ever came to from our adolescent war
And I start to feel the fever of the warm air through the screen
You come regular like seasons shadowing my dreams

The Mississippi's mighty, but it starts in Minnesota
At a place where you can walk across with five steps down
And that's just how you started like a pinprick to my heart
But at this point you rush right through me and I start to drown

There's not enough room in this world for my pain
Signals crossed and love gets lost and time passed makes it plain
Of all my demon spirits I need you the most
I'm in love with your ghost
I'm in love with your ghost

Dark and dangerous like a secret it gets whispered in a hush (don't tell a soul)
And when I wake the things I dreamt about you last night make me blush (don't tell a soul)
When you kiss me like a lover and you sting me like a viper
I go follow to the river play your memory like the piper

And I feel it like a sickness how this love is killing me
But I would walk into the fingers of your fire willingly
Dance the edge of sanity I've never been this close
In love with your ghost
oooooh-oooooooh-ooooooh-oooooooooh
oooooh-oooooooh-ooooooh-oooooooooh

Unknowing captor you'll never know how much you
Pierce my spirit but I can't touch you
Can you hear it a cry to be free
Oh I'm forever under lock and key
As you pass through me

Now I see your face before me I would launch a thousand ships
To bring your heart back to my island as the sand beneath me slips
I burn up in your presence and I know now how it feels
To be weakened like Achilles with you always at my heels

This bitter pill to swallow is the silence that I keep
It poisons me I can't swim free the river is too deep
Though I'm baptized by your touch I am no worse at most
In love with your ghost

Amy:
In love with your ghost
In love with your ghost
Emily:
You are shadowing my dreams