So, the easy solution, I suppose would simply be to hang up on his ass, or on my part, to not initiate any calls. I've mostly done the latter, and any that I have placed, until today, were very short and curt, asking pointed questions, and ending the conversation when I'd achieved the answer from him. That seemed to be working great, at least on my part. Cuz anything lengthier, and I run the risk of getting an update on his love life, and I really don't want to hear it. It still has the power to make me angry, to roll my eyes at the ridiculousness of it all, the whatever it is that makes him feel like he has to assure me it all has a point. Today I let him go on a bit after he'd asked me some outrageous question about "why do women squirt"? WTF? Cuz they are grown and they can, I guess. I sent him a whole article, not understanding why it freaking matters. It's not a huge deal, and as I explained to him, now that I've acheived it (with another man not him, lol), it doesn't impact the pleasure of my orgasm. It just makes a big mess. I'm gonna have fun either way, and it isn't necessarily better if the mess is present. The article did say that it is an ego booster for some men. I guess if ya need that to feel good about yourself, more power to ya.
But today was another of those days that assured me, "Thank God I'm Not a Part of It Anymore" days. He's just so out of control, I'm glad I'm not the one that is getting hurt by it all anymore. It still bothers me that he needs all of that in his life still. Needs to run after countless women to boost his ego. Like, with his advancing age, he ought to be settling some. I just don't get it, I never did, and I probably never will. Why can't he simply be happy with a monogamous relationship? Why does he need to boink 5 different women a week??? LOL, I remember a few months ago he'd told me one of his big turn ons in our relationship was that I KNEW all about him, and stayed with him anyways. Unfortunately, he never asked me if it was a turn on for me. I know, let it go already, right? The problem was that I always SUSPECTED, but knowing for sure is an entirely different matter. When Malcolm and I talked about it, and Malcolm was like "Don't discount your feelings, you guys were in love. Even though he was cheating, he was still yours then, and came home to you." Hoo fucking ray, right? What a prize.
I had to say no to him today. No, I won't do that. No more cheating. I love Malcolm TOO MUCH to have guilty secrets like that. He may be able to carry on like it's nothing, but it eats away at me. I told him sometimes in order to fix something you had to quit it, and move on. His response? "I'll let you call the shots....for now." WhatEVER!!! I told him it would never be the same on the other side if he made me re-open the wound, made me re-examine the situation. He blithely thought it would all work out, and he'd get his cake back and get to eat it too. Sorry Mr., the force of my rage broke the leash, and this bitch is panting after a new dog now. I've found my "out" clause.
Well that, at least, is pretty funny.
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