It Is What It Is

Caring for Mrs D has certainly proven to be a challenge. However, it's also shown me very clearly what her short and long term needs are. Mr and I had a chat about it tonight.
It's interesting having those quiet conversations again, now that everything has changed. It's all changed but it's all still the same, really. We still relate on the same level, still communicate the same. But he's more thoughtful now when he speaks to me. I see him watching me, and thinking. It makes me smile a bit, and I feel like somewhere, somehow, I won a battle that he and I have waged far too long. Perhaps the difference is that he is seeing clearly again, and listening to me. His mind is clear and unconsumed by frivolities, and his focus on the problem at hand is making him re-assess his choices and decisions. Especially when he sees what the outcome is.
I teased him mercilessly today about agreeing with me...finally. I gasped for breath, felt faint, and grabbed for support when he admitted, after 3 days of mentally chewing on it, that I was dead on about what I'd said, and that he really wasn't ok with what I'd pointed out about how his "girlfriend" had acted in this situation. He claimed responsibility for his actions, felt bad that he'd let it get there....and I cheered internally because I felt like I had gotten through to him somehow, even if it was only over that one small point. Tonight he agreed AGAIN to a plan I'd thought about and worked out today. I told him that the plan he was working on isn't good enough. He needs to take the next step, and make sure once and for all that Mrs D is safe and properly cared for. He will intervene in the process tomorrow, and hopefully use what he's already worked on to further his new agenda.
I'm cautiously optimistic that he will do this in a timely and responsible fashion. But I still have more long-term concerns for him. Namely, I won't always be there to provide the safety net. And I hope that he can re-assess the people in his life and hold them up to certain expectations, namely to be there and be supportive. The measure of friends and acquaintances should be; Will they do what is Right, or will they only do what is Easy? It's rather become my new motto. My lil' admirer (the bitch) doesn't think I have the right to judge another person. But the reality is that is bullshit. We all have the right to expect decency and honesty from other people. We have the right to expect to be treated well, and to be valued for who we are as individuals. Damn straight that you can judge whether or not someone is treating you or another person right. Does that make me a harsh person? Maybe, but at least I know that I can depend on my friends in a pinch. They are REAL people, TRUE people who have come thru for me, and proven that I can depend on them. And I've come through for them as well because it is a reciprocal thing.
Mr hasn't often, of late, passed my judgments, but he did tonight. He did the right thing by me, by the little girl that loves him, and most importantly, by Mrs D. He also made me remember that there were lots of things in those 5 years that were very good, and helped me to let go of some more of that rage. Are we friends again? Well, maybe not back up to BFF yet, but grudgingly back to good friends.