What IS the Real Story?

So Mr & I, and then Malcolm & I sat and tried to figure what got under my skin about Mr and...
It's not the moving on, because I've done that and I'm really happy about where I'm going. It's not jealousy because he's always had someone that he was cheating with, so I'd resigned myself to that long ago. No, it really isn't her at all. It's what Mr did way back in the beginning with his stories and embellishments. Unfortunately, she is really just taking the story she was fed and running with it.
So granted there are times I poke the bear. But I poke the bear because I see so many blatent untruths to the story. Things like he and I were just friends, or that he just wanted to be friends cuz we were better that way, things like he and I didn't actively participate TOGETHER in the lifestyle, that he was just accompanying me so I wouldn't be alone. BLAH, whatever. Things like he wanted to quit the lifestyle cuz he'd had it and wasn't happy with it. LOL. I understand Mr., but it doesn't mean he doesn't fuck up at times. And he really did with these...stories. He made me look like a clinger-on, a pathetic ass that tried to tie him into a relationship he wasn't willing to participate in. Yah, ok then. That is the true source of my anger, and it had become time that I take that anger out on the right person.
What he and I shared wasn't perfect. Nobody's relationship is perfect. But I persevered thru alot of the bullshit, and Mr & I had come to a pretty nice spot together. We were in love...somedays now I think we still are. But that's the byproduct of a longterm thing. I don't think you ever really stop loving someone. Hopefully though, you can put it into perspective and be friends, avoid the animosity. We had a good thing tho, and he was an equal partner, sharing all the joys, sadnesses, angers, and ecstacies with me. Will it ever be there again? No. He destroyed my trust in his ability to care for my heart that way, so no. He knows all this. And he agreed to make amends to me by telling the truth, for once. I know this has caused some pretty turbulent feelings in his relationship. BFF, Thank you for doing this for me because I needed it in my life to move on too. I was stuck, feeling like I needed to somehow redeem myself from what you'd said...all the time. I am liberated now.
Now, the hard part.
JW, I hope you can understand how this has made me incredibly angry since the beginning. Think how you would feel if suddenly the best part of your life for the last five years came to a crashing halt, and the word on the street was that it sucked anyway. Think how much angrier you would be when you were assured by your now ex better half that it really was great, and he'd never said differently. That he still cherished it, and you.
You and I, we will most likely never be friends. However, I am here, now, in this moment saying that I have been very harsh, and I am sorry. Because sometimes you deserved it, but alot of times you did not. He did. I'm still dealing with alot of rage issues, and I know it. My new partner knows it, and thankfully has the temperament to understand and be patient with me while I get over it. It's not easy to be replaced, especially when you never saw it coming. But I can't change what has happened, and my life isn't worse for it. If you are what he needs, what it takes to make him happy, then I love him enough to wish you success. We will have to interact in the future, because the community that you have chosen to become a part of is not that large. I choose to go forward and not have to feel sick anymore, to not even be able to smile at my best friend when I see him with you for fear of making you angry. He is with YOU. You don't need to worry that I am trying to make that change.
Peace.