Anticipation

A part of me is worried that I'll jinx it...like I did the last Merava Party. But I can't help but put into writing my hopes and giddy feelings about tomorrow night. I anticipate an unbelievable evening, with Malcolm making it every bit as mind blowing as an event can be. He is the universal ambassador, so smooth, so sure and easy going. A girl can't help but have an amazing time with him in tow...he's a natural. He delivers. And he's so damn easy on the eyes.
Today Mr & I had a conversation about tomorrow because, as it was inevitably bound to happen in the small community we both belong to in Maine, we have both decided to join this event. I confess, I was nervous when Malcolm & I made the final decision. But it's him & I this time, no worries, no hangups. I'm leaving my baggage outside the door when I arrive, and the night belongs to unbridled pleasure. I promised to behave in the best and only way I know how....by being myself and having an amazing time. When I'm at one of these events, and things go really well...I give myself over wholeheartedly, no holds barred. Mr once told me he loved me for being able to do that, to give of myself like that even when I'm nervous or scared. It is probably one of the best parts of me, and I'm looking forward to indulging it again. Malcolm makes it easy because it dazzled him too, made him love me too. And he loves to see me washed away with the moment until nothing in the room exists except what he is creating between him and I. There is so much that Malcolm and I want to do together. We talked about it the other day, what was most pressing on our minds....what we wanted to do more than anything, what our deal breakers for the evening would be. LOL...no messes was mine!!!
As far as Mr goes...you have my word that nothing will start with me. I know too many of these people to concern myself with causing havoc. I will be causing havoc anyways, just by enjoying myself and doing what it is I do. However, I did promise our hostess that I'd keep my mouth quite busy for the evening. I'll fore go the bear poking and leave it to you...you seem to be excelling at it of late. Well, you did learn from the best, did you not? LOL I sincerely hope Mr has the time of his life tomorrow night, enjoys himself immensely, satisfies his every craving and random wood, and leaves remembering why he loves the lifestyle to begin with even though he's questioned it so much of late. Peace, BFF.
OHH, and BFF....as to our earlier conversation....
I knew when I saw you at the Flower Convention, after I thought you'd gone home because the "Leather Girls" had called you Daddy one time too many, and the gay lead designers were glued to you like white on rice. I knew when you called me silly and told me you'd never just leave me like that. And I knew when you, even in the crisis of your homophobia, sat back at the table to enjoy one more bourbon with the "Leather Girls" because they were my friends, and it was important to me. It was 4 years ago, Sept. 11, at "our spot"....the Sheraton. So yeah... "I Remember the Time". Oh, and 4 years later...I'm still lusting after that freaking mattress!!!!