Kiko

So, I have this friend... it sounds like the line from American Pie, doesn't it? Anywho, my friend Kiko has been in my life for some time, and has always represented one of those unsolvable puzzles to me, like the link game, or Rubik's cube. Well, I know Rubik's cube is solvable, but the only way I could ever do it was to disassemble it and put it back together right, damn thing. He often makes me feel that way. I like him a lot as a person, when he's not being a jackass as he often has a habit of doing. Mostly he's funny as hell cuz he's got a head full of bunnies. We often chat about him and his dating habits, and it strikes me as funny how entirely clueless he is on how men and women relate. Kiko is a handsome man, and never has a problem picking up a woman for...whatever. Yes I sampled him once, and we are definitely better as friends. Mr used to prick up his eyebrows when I'd mention Kiko, wondering what that friendship was all about...well you know he probably thought I'd be boinking him. And maybe I was. MWAHAHAHA.
So, Kiko has this habit of being a womanizer, and it bothers me. Not enough to break off my friendship with him, but enough to feel a stab of conscience about the women he goes thru in his quest to quiet the bunnies in his head. There are times, since we do talk about his love life and mine, that I almost feel like I'm an accomplice to these women getting disappointed and developing broken hearts. He talks about it all so non-chalantly, like it's no big deal, and everyone is on the same page. But the reality is that most of the women are NOT on the same page as him. They don't have bunnies making furry bouncy noises inside their skulls. What they do have is this impression that they are they only woman, and they have a life to build with him. He just doesn't see it. And so I attempt to patiently explain how women treasure the afterglow time. How women are susceptible to his fleeting interest, and his lovemaking skills, and how they honestly think that he can feel deep and abiding love for them. His retort is always the same. He hasn't said anything to let them believe any such thing. Well, and I believe that, but honestly, how much of relationships are non verbal? If a guy sleeps the night with you, while snuggling you close, won't a bit of imagination start to think that maybe because he's spent 2 days this week at your house, he might be getting serious?
Malcolm understands all this, probably more so than I do. I've never met a man that understands the machinations of the female mind probably better than most women understand themselves. He mostly just cheers Kiko on, saying, "Hey, that's cool if he can do his thing like that." So I try to brush off Kiko's doings, and be happy for him, and his litter of bunnies. But I realize, some days, that what I think bothers me about the whole deal is that there is a part of my brain that wonders if there are lots of men like Kiko. And then I wonder if Mr was like Kiko when we seemed to be happy together, and perhaps I was one of those silly women. Yep, my angst over Kiko's nefarious love life makes me think that maybe there was less reality to those 5 years with Mr. than I'd ever understood. Sometimes seeing someone else's patterns, someone you are more objective with, can help you to decipher patterns in your own life. As much as I'm doing a great job moving forward, there is still an inch of me still looking for the answer why. I already know there isn't a real answer, and I'm not pining away, not trying to go backwards. But there are moments of discovery, and then there are light bulb moments. Kiko, my bunny infested friend, affords me a great many light bulb moments.
I think there is another part of me that is insanely jealous of Kiko because of the freedom and liberties he takes in his life. Don't get me wrong, his life isn't all gumdrops and roses. Like everyone else in America, he has his share of money and family problems, and yes, even he has psycho bitches. Like Malcolm says, every man has at least one, and most have more than 2 because men are notoriously slower at learning lessons because of the 2nd brain effect. I guess a part of me wishes I could be as rampant a man-whore as he sometimes is. Well, not a man, I suppose. But I'm not wired that way. I've had a couple one night stands, and they weren't very good. Riddled with feelings of being let down, guilt, and remorse, I just really didn't have a good time. The major reason being that I have to have some kind of connection with my lover to enjoy myself. I have to be able to communicate with them, have to care about them as a person. But Kiko does bring out pissing contest Dots, and some days I just want to one-up him on his conquests. Thankfully, Malcolm affords me bragging rights on sex that is 200 times wilder than Kiko will ever enjoy. And God KNOWS I love poking him with that.
What I really love about Kiko is that he accepts me for who and what I am, with hardly a criticism. He strokes my ego lots and lots, and flirts shamelessly. He's a hard scoundrel not to like, even when he's infuriated me with some nonsense or another. He's also respectful of my relationship with Malcolm, and the boundaries I've asked him to abide by. I believe that is a true and lasting sign of friendship when someone can support you in the ways you need, and still be available for bear poking...sometimes even joining in the fun. Yes, Kiko has been a passive aggressive participant in one or two of the bear poking blog posts. He'd swear he didn't do anything, but I know the truth. He does make me have fun. So to Kiko: Thanks for being my friend, and put a leash on your bunnies!!!!