Taking a break from the erotica for a moment, I wanted to just comment on my most fabulous day. There are some days that are memorable for what you do, and then there are days that are memorable for what you realize. Today, I realized that Malcolm was "The One".
In all my relationships over the years, there have been men that I loved passionately, not least of which was Mr, as all my readers know, lol. But there was always something about those other relationships that wasn't quite right. There would always be something that I'd have to hide, or overlook. Something that I'd try to explain away, or make excuses for. With Mr, it was the fact that he'd never be faithful 100%, and that I was his #2 priority behind Mrs D. With baby daddy it was the fact that we just didn't gel all the time because he's buck crazy. With my first love, in college, it was the fact that I was a friend with benefits, but not a girlfriend. With Peanut, it was the fact that he drove me insane with his OCD. Eventually the things you try to explain away or overlook become the white elephant in the room, and each person's unhappiness evolves until one or the other does something stupid, hence my cheating on Mr as retaliation.
I've been dating Malcolm since May, and I've had some scares, but every time I started to freak out over something ridiculous it was my leftover angst at dealing with Mr for 5 years. Malcolm has been constant, dependable, loving, caring, passionate, and best of all.......AVAILABLE!!!! I find that every time I spend time in his company, I want to do it more often. Not just because of the earth-shattering sex we have, although lets be real about that too, what girl wouldn't want to spend every waking moment with a guy that had a 4 to 6 hour tongue??? No, I love his conversation, the way he makes me laugh, the way he laughs with me, our shopping trips even when they are to the sex shop and embarrassing as hell! He's got fashion sense (thank god he does cuz lord knows I wasn't born with it), he's an artist in his heart, and he loves children. He's a gentleman, he's accommodating, he's the perfect date...always. And he's proud to be my man...as proud as I am to be his woman. I noticed today, as he updated his OWN websites, that he added our pictures, and introduced me as his partner because, as he specified, we are a couple. We even talked about kids today, and I jokingly made a comment about how even though he's spayed, I'd continue on my BC because god forbid, I'm sure he wouldn't want a nasty surprise. He actually stopped and said "It wouldn't be so bad, you know." I was rather dumbfounded, sure he didn't want anymore, and I said "Don't tease about that because in my heart I always wanted another one. But I'm cool that this is how it is." His response? "I think having a baby with you would be amazing." Wow. I can only imagine what creating a whole family would be like, and it's only sketchy in my mind because I've tried so hard not to dream a dream that would never come true. He's taken to Jujubear quite a bit, and she's absolutely smitten with him. She still loves Mr, to be fair, but Malcolm is kinda like a rock star to her and she told me the other day that she thinks he is nice because he doesn't make me cry. Yeah, I like that part too.
So in the car today, as we held hands, I just knew that this time it is different. I've never felt so.....reciprocated. I'm still apprehensive, and Malcolm knows that...LOL, and he tells me to relax, that he really really isn't going anywhere. I mentioned that since he put me in the top 98% of all women the other day that I still had some work to do to claw my way to the top. He just laughed that wonderful wholehearted laugh of his and assured me that I was well on my way and had booted the competition out as far as he was concerned. He told me he recognized that he'd fallen in love somewhere along the line, and I mentioned back that I was mighty glad because damn sho nuff, so had I.
He just called to say goodnight, like he does every night. I don't want to go back to a life without him, he's just made it too special. Today we talked about seeing other people, and where we're at with that. We both have a pretty high tolerance for this lifestyle, and I know that his feelings for me haven't changed. What I discussed with him is that to me, it's just not worth the aggravation of having a fling because they can't come close to comparing with my time with him. Being with other men is like driving a Hyundai after owning a Mercedes Benz. You can't be with the best, and then try to be satisfied with mediocrity. So unless it's WITH him, I told him I'd prefer to just be with him, and I think I saw him breathe a little sigh of relief. He knows I have a penchant for mischief, and that I really do have way too much time on my hands, much of which he can't occupy with me. And the temptation is all around because I've made lots of contacts, and single men are ridiculously persistent. What I was really impressed with is his coming back to the honesty thing, and that we both do best when we operate from that single premise...that we remain open and honest with each other. And he said that at this time he'd prefer to be exclusive to me as well. <<squeal of delight!>>
So here we are, perched on another precipice ready to take on the next relationship challenge. I'm ready for it because I have my "one" to meet the challenge head on with.
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