Happy Ending....Sort of

Today saw Mr & I concluding some of the awfulness of the past weekend. Thankfully, at the end of the day, (Christ, and I do mean END OF THE DAY, as CCSD doesn't hurry), the doom hanging like a boulder over Mr's head was reduced to the size of a fist sized rock. Still large enough to hurt when it falls on you, but no where near large enough to crush you. I breathed for the first time in 3 days, it felt like. Mr, well he inhaled his first cigarette in 3 days and almost expired in an orgasmic bliss. So much for his quitting. LOL. Then came the talking. We didn't do that much, at first, because it felt like there was an angry wall of emotion between us. Back at his house, we chiseled at the wall, and laughed with Mrs D. What a joy she is to me. Over the past couple of months, she and I have formed such an excellent bond. This week, as she makes fun of my grey hairs, or tells me I have hairy arms, we'll also be going shopping.
So, Mr & I took a break from the talking. After all, The Brother had a lecture to deliver. Ahh, The Brother. He surprises me, I guess. I felt his growing anger over the past few days. I heard his little verbal jabs, and expected the contention to increase exponentially. The more he began to understand that I indeed was much more than a good time, the hotter his anger felt to me. I could have been self conscious, or just over sensitive. Or, it could also have been where he was collecting his information about me from...when the source is corrupt, so is the information. So, Brother...thank you so much for your compassion. Thank you for being there for him, and for tolerating me to see this thing through. I hope, someday, we can be friends.
I slept some, then we talked some more. What we both have learned is that we need to move forward, together, acting on honesty. It's always been the problem, true? The ghost of "That Woman" will be with us for some time. I need to be able to move past it, but forgetting isn't always as easy as commanding your mind to do so. I still have so much anger and mistrust, and that needs an avenue for outlet before it poisons me, and us. He understands, or claims to understand. But trust, at this point can't be built on promises and words. Do we still have love? Yeah, we still have lots of that, and it's a positive sign, at the very least.
So, I was made aware the other day that my words are still being watched by "That Woman". And she was quite hateful in her own right. Well, I did poke the bear first. But here is the true fact....I am a real blogger. I don't blog to manipulate specific people. I blog because this is who I am, and NOBODY will take this away from me, no matter their malicious intent. I always protect mine, but my words, my thoughts can't be decided by the putrid few. I have never, in the past, blogged so much or so honestly about my relationship, but it is important to me to commit that honesty here. Mr. understands that, and enjoys reading about himself. I think it is an egocentric thing. LOL. Whatever the case, real bloggers are courageous in the face of adversity, and once committing their hearts to the page (or screen) don't delete or run from the heat that those words may have generated. I accept responsibility for my words....indeed for my whole life. I wouldn't change a minute of any of it.