Wow! Revisited

It occured to me today that Mr is going out of his way to give me amazing weekends. And amazing it was, again....where it actually surpassed last weekend in it's duration and intensity. PHEW!
We have more together time now, more family time with all of us. Breakfast Sunday mornings with Mrs D and Jujubear included instead of "squared away". Juju's happiness factor is growing daily as she becomes more a part of his life and family. Finally placing faces with names and stories, and feeling like she is now part of a larger family, with people that love her as well. It feels really fantastic to be moving into the future together, as a team. We were always a power team when we were functioning on the same wave length. He is certainly trying to meet me halfway on that wave length, and bless his heart because even I know what a demanding little bitch I can be.
As for the rest of the weekend? Well, the gory details remain fodder for Merava stories at a later time. LOL, he was fantastic, as he always is, and we proved to each other again why we've lasted 5 long years and still turn each other on like a couple of twenty year olds. We did not get to fly that blasted kite though, as the weather turned, and the run of beautiful sunshine ended. He boasted about it yet again, however, and I'll say it right here and now..."Put Up or Shut Up!" I can't wait to see him try. I'll even eat crow if he succeeds.
Oh, and Mr? I think you're hot!

Our Big Thursday

Thursdays have become a big day in the week for me. That is the day I get to take Mrs D out to lunch, and spend time with her while she laughs, talks about shrubs, and maybe even comes outside with me. This Thursday will be even more special. My Jujubear wants to meet Mrs D, and...as it is school vacation week, we will be traveling together to spend a beautiful day in the sunny Oceanside city. Juju was hoping to meet Bubbles, and even more than that, was DYING to meet Christmas, the puppy. Personally, Christmas and I haven't built that loving relationship. She wags her tail at me, slinks off behind the couch, and hides there. God forbid I should sneak a pat in.
So this week Juju, Mrs D, and I will have lunch, spend some quality time in the sun, and maybe clip a few rosebushes back. Those shrubs need some tending if we can only hope to achieve the degree of topiary neatness that Mrs D needs and desires in her life. Mr will miss out on all the fun....but I'll catch him up on the small triumphs later. I don't think I can convince Mrs D to come to the ocean with me and Juju, but we'll try hard. Maybe on Sunday, if the weather holds....Mr will show off his kite flying prowess. He has proclaimed himself the all-time kite flying genius. We'll see. This particular kite is the anti-Christ...in 3 years NOBODY has ever managed to get the damn thing air-born. It's HUGE, has two leader ropes, and is the most beautiful thing I've ever laid my eyes on...but I hate it with every fiber of my being for making an utter fool out of me, and in public no less. Mrs D will love watching him try, at the very least. And I hope she will enjoy the spectacular view and beautiful weather as well, and have fun with us all.

Wow!

Words are hard to come by when I think about this weekend. Wow pretty much sums it up, as it was one of those memory making, outside the box, holy shit kind of weekends. LOL, definitely NOT the kind of weekend one discusses around the water cooler.

Mr & I had one of those weekends. It was a beautiful thing, almost like a work of art. We have that communion again, the ability to see the possibilities, and talk about them, laugh, joke, and love again. I'd missed that so much. I ask my questions, quietly, calmly, and he answers me. He swore on his lodge that he'd answer truthfully, even if he knows I might not like the answer. I see his efforts in progress, and I'm so thankful that he loves enough to honor that request. And it is touching to see him coddle me so. He's right, there is definitely a reason that we work, that we rock as a couple. To hear him say it makes all the difference.

So this weekend we had fun. And it's been so long since we had fun that wasn't tainted. We met some new "friends", rocked the house, and blew some people away. LOL! It was a great time, and Mr didn't even have to get his toes sucked. I wish every weekend could be so fantastic. I'm trying to maintain my one day at a time attitude. To not look too much ahead and begin to reel with the horrid maybe's. But, again, it's my task to learn to trust, and his to make me believe in him again. He's holding up his end....so far....although I have my doubts about that car Mr. Thankfully, he is definitely a very likeable scoundrel, and sometimes he even makes the doubting fun. Believe it or not, I don't even think I poked the bear today. So thank you Mr for a most delightful weekend adventure....and someday you will tell me how you came by your skills in massage! I told you some people love it deeper!!!

An Affair to Remember

LOL, yes, I've been watching too many old romantic movies of late, and the flair for romance and high drama seem to be rubbing off on my blog title selections. It's good to be happy again, even if we take it one day at a time right now. This weekend, much anticipated, will be our re-entrance into our "society" after the big debacle of our separation. Our friends are in town, and we are eagerly looking forward to spending a night out with them. Nothing racy....just good friends, great atmosphere, awesome conversation, and some down home dirty DIRTY dancing. God only knows what will happen to L/A when the Meravites hit em.
Sunday will be a new experience for us both, one where we've had to establish "rules" for behavior on both of our parts. It's exciting and a little scary, and I'm really looking forward to spending that amazing time with Mr. It'll be interesting entering his arena.....a place that he's familiar with and I'm not. It's a bit daunting, yet his strength and surety comfort me. I know he will always keep me safe.
Living outside the box? What box? Was there a box? LOL

Happy Ending....Sort of

Today saw Mr & I concluding some of the awfulness of the past weekend. Thankfully, at the end of the day, (Christ, and I do mean END OF THE DAY, as CCSD doesn't hurry), the doom hanging like a boulder over Mr's head was reduced to the size of a fist sized rock. Still large enough to hurt when it falls on you, but no where near large enough to crush you. I breathed for the first time in 3 days, it felt like. Mr, well he inhaled his first cigarette in 3 days and almost expired in an orgasmic bliss. So much for his quitting. LOL. Then came the talking. We didn't do that much, at first, because it felt like there was an angry wall of emotion between us. Back at his house, we chiseled at the wall, and laughed with Mrs D. What a joy she is to me. Over the past couple of months, she and I have formed such an excellent bond. This week, as she makes fun of my grey hairs, or tells me I have hairy arms, we'll also be going shopping.
So, Mr & I took a break from the talking. After all, The Brother had a lecture to deliver. Ahh, The Brother. He surprises me, I guess. I felt his growing anger over the past few days. I heard his little verbal jabs, and expected the contention to increase exponentially. The more he began to understand that I indeed was much more than a good time, the hotter his anger felt to me. I could have been self conscious, or just over sensitive. Or, it could also have been where he was collecting his information about me from...when the source is corrupt, so is the information. So, Brother...thank you so much for your compassion. Thank you for being there for him, and for tolerating me to see this thing through. I hope, someday, we can be friends.
I slept some, then we talked some more. What we both have learned is that we need to move forward, together, acting on honesty. It's always been the problem, true? The ghost of "That Woman" will be with us for some time. I need to be able to move past it, but forgetting isn't always as easy as commanding your mind to do so. I still have so much anger and mistrust, and that needs an avenue for outlet before it poisons me, and us. He understands, or claims to understand. But trust, at this point can't be built on promises and words. Do we still have love? Yeah, we still have lots of that, and it's a positive sign, at the very least.
So, I was made aware the other day that my words are still being watched by "That Woman". And she was quite hateful in her own right. Well, I did poke the bear first. But here is the true fact....I am a real blogger. I don't blog to manipulate specific people. I blog because this is who I am, and NOBODY will take this away from me, no matter their malicious intent. I always protect mine, but my words, my thoughts can't be decided by the putrid few. I have never, in the past, blogged so much or so honestly about my relationship, but it is important to me to commit that honesty here. Mr. understands that, and enjoys reading about himself. I think it is an egocentric thing. LOL. Whatever the case, real bloggers are courageous in the face of adversity, and once committing their hearts to the page (or screen) don't delete or run from the heat that those words may have generated. I accept responsibility for my words....indeed for my whole life. I wouldn't change a minute of any of it.

Sweet Adversity

There is nothing like a little adversity in your life to help you stop and figure out the hows and whys. And to help you figure out who your real friends are in this world. Mr & I are both experiencing that very phenomenon as we speak. Unfortunately Mr, like me, tends to learn his lessons the hard way. Telling him that psycho bullshit people can't be trusted doesn't tend to leave an impression. However taking a fall for one does. His ramifications will be enormous. Livelihood, shelter, family....most likely all of it will be impacted. I suppose there is alot of truth to that woman scorned saying. Wanna know who to stay away from in this life? She's on his blog, because she can't help but make a fool of herself over and over again. Check it out.
And me, well....it's me and the family duking it out now. No more secrets, that's for sure. The Brother and I are working together, of course...at least for now. I'm sure it will get ugly really soon. The worst part is I understand his concerns. The bad part is that you can't always help life's circumstances, or who you fall in love with. It's also my opinion that Mr deserves one person in his life that he can trust wholeheartedly, that has his best interests close to her heart. Mr knows where he can place his faith and trust. It's where it's always been. Even though our relationship has been rocky, through his shenanigans, my loyalty hasn't faltered. I would never set him up to fall, hoping that he would lose everything. At my worst moment, I walked away, wishing him well. I suppose you can't hope that everyone in the world could have that kind of class. The Brother, at least on that point, wholeheartedly agrees.
So I guess we'll weather this latest crisis, like we always do.....
But I'm praying this time, because we need all the help we can get.
PS - To the psycho bullshit person: I heard you wanted an apology because you think I am mean. Here it is - I'm sorry. Sorry that you are so pathetic, sorry that you stoop so low in your life, and sorry that you are so spineless. Grow a backbone, and get some class.
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The Last Day

So this is it....my last day at a place I've been so happy at for almost 2 years now. I'm sad, a little wistful, and I will miss everyone so much. But is it really everyone? Not really....just that one man that has danced in and out of my life for over 15 years. He really is one of my great friends. He makes me laugh, he makes me furious, and most of all, he has always had my back. I never knew how much that was worth until I was alone in the sharkpond. So I go to my last day determined to enjoy it, have fun, maybe do some work ....and then enjoy a dinner with "the girls". LOL. He'll be there too, plying me with alcohol no doubt.
Afterwards, I have a birthday boy to celebrate. This should be great...LOL Mr, Me, one of my free passes, and one of his. WOOT! If nothing else, it should be a friggin riot. I hope it pleases him, well, and me too, right? MWAHAHAAHA. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed for a great night, hoping that everyone shows up, and that everyone is happy.