I'm beginning to wonder what the fuck the universe has against me this year. 2008 started with DHS investigating me for child abuse and neglect because my mother's housekeeper was pissed off. This woman was supposed to help my mother, who has a variety of disorders that make it hard for her to keep her own house, remain independent by providing two hours of cleaning services per week. The woman was committing time card fraud by coaxing the elderly she services into believing that her company provided her with upwards of 30 min of travel time, (even though they do not, they reimburse mileage) and got her clients (including my mother) to sign a time card that was showing more time than was actually worked. My mother, who is not crazy, started to question this practice, and the woman quickly reported her to the state as mentally unstable, and unsuitable to care for her child. The laughable part here is this woman only serviced my mother's home twice, never saw me or my daughter, and after she reported her, never came back. The report, which according to the cleaning agency was supposed to be to adult protective services, was transferred to Child Protective Services because of that brief mention of a child. In the weeks of this investigation, while I pondered the real possibility that this fucking cunt could actually cause me to lose my child, DHS never interviewed my mother, or investigated her mental health or capacity, nor did they inspect the quality of her living environment. They simply questioned me, and my child to determine if neglect was in order. The resolution, of course, was an apology on the part of the state for bothering me. And of course the bitch that filed the complaint, purely out of malicious intent, has absolutely no repercussions.
Next, of course is all the drama that has unfolded within this blogspot. Dealing with infidelities and stalker chicks is quite stressful, and has supplied me with many a sleepless night. I've questioned myself, my looks, my worth.....and still have no answer "why?". I know there isn't any good reason, or answer, but there is also no resolution. Just an empty ache, and a wish for something , the warmth and wonder of the safe haven you find in your lovers arms. The tears have stopped, mostly. But it leaves me so damn tired....if only I could sleep.
Today, oh Joy, I was laid off. Universal cuts in management in every store across the nation have been enacted in an attempt to curb controllable expenses and make my company bottom line profitable. The cut in my store was me. I'd had some inkling, of course. But it still cut like a knife when it was confirmed. I guess that inner voice was still hoping for a "don't worry, you're safe" answer. Wrong again! I get to work out the next 6 weeks, and then I will be unemployed. My hope is to find something better, with better hours, of course. However, in the meantime, I hope to just be able to duplicate my salary, and still be able to make a decent living. I've been at the bottom before, and I'm not scared of it. I do hope not to lose it all again, that would just suck. But I'm more prepared, this time to deal with the situation effectively, and productively.
So, they do say that miseries come in threes...and there is my three. Here's hoping that things perk up mightily, and soon.
